The journey is really beginning. I’m trying to be a transparent as possible, but being vulnerable is quite an obstacle in this exposure of life after rehab and in recovery. I’m starting completely over. I have to start the job finding process, and I’m leery about how I’m going to explain this two year gap since my last job before I went completely haywire. I want to pursue a career in writing, but as for now all I have are these blogs and my poetry. Let me not go off on a tangent. I’m now carefully searching for a job so I’ll have some income, but at the same time I don’t want to end up getting some gig out of desperation and it not be in God’s will. I’m patiently waiting on Him for the right gig that will allow me to also pursue my dreams of writing. See, I know how this goes. I’ll end up getting a job which will end up taking up all my time. I’ll go back down the road of unhappiness. I’ll end up depressed, and that will inevitably open up the door for me to try to numb the unease. That’s not an option at this point. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God” (Phil 4:6). This was my verse everyday at the rehab facility. I have to work on my patience. I need to get things in order. I need to figure out how to bridge this two year gap in my resume! I, I, I…. when will I learn to look to Him? I don’t need to do anything but lean on Him. So, this is where the importance of meetings come into play. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been in this situation. After all, it’s not as bad as it seems. I tend to be dramatic and impatient and have higher expectations of myself which leads to disappoint and irritability. As you can see my mind’s all over the place. Well, at least I am searching Indeed to see what kind of jobs in writing I could possibly pursue. That’s a step forward. Then, I’ll trust God to point out opportunities I should look for. Next, I’ll build a resume specifically for the job I want to go after. Finally, I’ll apply for it. There it is. Plain and simple. See how God works? As I’m writing wisdom is imparted into my being and it brings about resolution to what my mind has created a complete obstacle. I have to learn to be grateful. A lot of people in recovery have not had the opportunity to be in the workforce, or have had the opportunity to have earned at least a degree of some sort. One day at a time. That concept is starting to make more sense than I could have imagined. I have to work on my patience. I wake up on 10.
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