Seeking Approval

I don’t know why seeking approval is in the back of my mind. I have to keep reminding myself that this is my journey for me, and if God tells me to do it I’m doing it. Point of exclamation. I constantly feel the need to explain why I’ve been through the struggles I’ve been through. The fact of the matter is a course of events have taken place in my life that I didn’t know how to deal with. Then, my outbursts weren’t the best decisions, but I always see the glass half full. It’s usually not the actions that I look to, but the results and the lesson learned from every situation. That allows growth to come in, and it allows me to see how God has worked in my life. This expose’ of recovery is scary for me. This public journal of recovery leaves me vulnerable to judgment and ridicule. It also allows me the chance to reach anyone who may be struggling with the same thing. All I can do is write about my experience, my thoughts, and sometimes an epiphany comes to me. That’s why I chose to create that visual, even though it is pretty gay lol. I didn’t even know what I would be writing about. I took the picture and created it before I started journaling my thoughts on here, and the visual fits perfectly. I’m half naked and vulnerable with three heads. Sums this whole experience up, right? Anyhow, I want to further my creative thoughts and words. Create songs, write scripts, create more visuals. I have all these ideas, but I’m waiting on God to let me know when to proceed. It’s all about Him at the end of the day. Actually, all of the day it’s about Him. I can’t experience Him off others’ merit. We have our own relationship. I am His and He is mine. I have all this poetry collected, and I’m anticipating turning them into songs of worship. I need musicians. Look at me going off on tangents. Anyway, the whole point of it all is no approval is needed from anyone but Him. I don’t know why I wrote about this, but it is what it is. Thanks for letting me share.