Awakening…A genius has been asleep too long

I have so many ideas in my head that I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know if I want to write a book, short stories, a script, or what. I do know that I have poetry and some creative visuals in my head. Well, I think my visuals are pretty creative. It’s like something takes over me and I end up with these strange pictures. Anyway, I’m currently worried about my best friend. He’s trying to get sober, but keeps having setbacks. Last night I received a phone call, and it disturbed me because out of all the drugs to do he chose to do Fentanyl. I was pissed to say the least. Not because he had another setback, but because that’s the drug that’s taking people out left and right. So, worry set in. I already lost a best friend to overdose, and that just riled me all the way up. I wasn’t there to make sure he was ok since he’s always around somebody shady. Then he got upset that I was upset and I haven’t heard from him since. I just have to let go and let God. I’m not really in the position to be trying to save someone, but it’s still frightening given that I have a history of relapse when someone close to me dies. That’s a trigger. All I can do I hope he’s alright. Living this life in recovery is bittersweet, because even though you strive to be on the right path you develop bonds with people and at any given time we all could all of a sudden relapse and die. That’s just the nature of the beast. So, I don’t know whether to keep my guard up too much or not. I don’t want to become accustomed to people overdosing and dying around me so much that my heart turns numb. I’m one of those few corny people who loves everyone and cherishes life period. Whew, I’m glad I got that out. I’ve been worrying all day about that a$$hole. Well, at least I haven’t been romancing using. I sometimes get jealous when people relapse. I don’t know why, but I do. Nevertheless, I’ve learned to take control of my thoughts when it comes to that. Thoughts manifest into reality. Thoughts are more powerful than people think. You can create a storm in your life by just thinking. Thank God for Jesus. Thanks for letting me share.