Every thought is fulfilled in the prophecy….

I’m reading this book called The Definitive Guide to the Prophetic by Joni Ames. From what I’ve read so far it details the goals and what the prophetic ministry in the church. Edification is a buzz word in the book from what I have read. I have a prophetic gift. I don’t want to call myself a prophet, because that carries a lot of weight, and I just don’t think I’m worthy enough. However, I cannot deny the gift. I’ve always been a very spiritual person, and it’s like I have a constant whisper in my ear. I can’t deny the gift. I believe everyone has a prophetic gift. Wow, this is so uncomfortable writing about for some reason. Anyway, it’s like I know stuff that I’m not supposed to know by logic. Nevertheless, if someone says “Tell me about so and so, or what do you see with me” I can’t answer them. Well, I found out in the book the reason I can’t answer them is because it becomes a form of sorcery when someone asks you what God says concerning them or a situation. Instead of going to God themselves, they ask someone with a gift of prophecy which is the same as seeking a psychic experience. It felt good to read that, because people have picked up on my prophetic gift and have asked me about themselves and I tell them I honestly can’t answer them. It’s like the whisper in my ear shuts completely up and I’m left looking baffled. Anyway, I’m to use this gift for edification, not for condemning. Words are powerful, and I have to be careful not to speak the wrong things because for some reason the things I speak manifest physically. I don’t know why or how I’ve tapped into that realm, but whenever I say something it happens and it has gotten so powerful that I can’t believe it myself. However. It can’t be anything that’s derived from vanity or pride. It’s subtle words. I’ll stop talking about it now. Anyway, I went to an interview today and while I was meeting with the hiring manager I saw one of my oldest, best friends that I lost contact with while I was lost in addiction. It was a very emotional moment, and here we were in the middle of me trying to get a job crying. That allowed me to see that I need to repair that relationship with her. She’s one of the people I had been holding resentments against, because I had been thinking “Where were you when I needed a friend?? I was dying, and everyone abandoned me!” People abandoned me like I was stealing, cheating and doing all kind of things to them and I wasn’t. Well, looks like I’m still holding a little resentment. God please take the resentment away. I’m hurt, but I don’t want to be resentful. Do I need to just let it go, or do I need to reconnect with everyone so the hurt I feel for being abandoned can be acknowledged and move on? I’m also riddled with shame. What to do what to do??? That’s all I got. Thanks for letting me share.