Been a minute

It has been a minute since I’ve written on this blog. Ever since I’ve started working I haven’t made time for it. Six days a week I’m doing my thing. My life consists of work, church and home. I’m not complaining thought. Who would’ve ever thought monotony would be so blissful. I have to be honest, sometimes I get bored and my mind wonders into the abyss of insanity. Thinking about the former chaotic life so sex, drugs and rock and roll and my mind tries to romanticize about it. However, I’m quick to shoot those thoughts down and constantly asking for God’s help in doing so because my flesh doesn’t want me to shoot those thoughts down. It’s a struggle sometimes. Not that I can’t overcome it, but I struggle with finding pleasure in that former life. Then it’s like some kind of internal battle going on because I don’t want to find pleasure in those thoughts of past shenanigans. So, I inadvertently end up pulling closer to God. Coincidence or is there a genius at work? I’m glad my travel arrangements are the way they are at the moment. This is the first time not having any wheels, but every place I need to go the travel is supplied. I’ve finally decided I’m not in a rush to get my own car even though I can. I have classic and kind of expensive taste, so I don’t want to settle for a Honda when I want another BMW…or Lexus…or Mercedes Benz. So, that’s what I’m saving for, and no I’m not going to waste all my money on something grand. I know how to shop for bargains and I’m looking accordingly. I just have a type and I know what I want. Never settle for less. I’ve been blessed thus far, and I believe God is going to blow my mind with what He has in store for me. Not just material things, but spiritually. I’ve been learning patience. It’s such a virtue. Not too long ago, I would’ve been ready to bust out of my seams ready for what’s next in life. Trying to figure out what’s going to happen a month, even a year from now. Now, I just leave it up to God. Every morning I pray that He guides every step that I make. EVERY step. Let Him have complete control, because I know He won’t let me stumble. I went to Walmart today and just took in the whole state of being. Does anyone ever just go into a trance sort of state and think “Wow, I’m alive. Look at all of the people around me. Look at all of the matter around me. I can’t believe I’m breathing. I can’t believe I can hear. I can’t believe I have thoughts.” Yea, I was in Walmart thinking all of this and taking it in. I looked at the people and how homely they and I looked walking around in that facility and I loved every one of them for just being a part of my experience of being alive…in Walmart. I know it sounds silly, but whatever. I appreciate everything at this moment, and I hope for all the time that I’m here in this Earth. Thank God for Jesus. That’s all I got. Thanks for letting me share.