Freedom

I want to be free like the bald eagle I have tattooed on my arm. I want to be free of worries, free of time, free of desires, free of what I’m supposed to be, free from me. Well, if the Son has set me free, I am free indeed. So, I guess I am free of all the above. Look at me being dramatic. I went to a new meeting today. I think I liked that meeting a little more, because it wasn’t as ratchet and raw as the one’s I’m used to. There was a lot more experience in recovery in there. Not just depressed people glad about being clean for 90 days. They added substance to the conversation. They have been clean for like 15+ years. I don’t know why it’s hard for me to believe that someone can be clean that long. As soon as someone is like “I’ve been clean for blah blah years” I hate to admit it but my first thought is “Yea right.” Why am I like that? What character defect is that? I guess it’s my inability to trust all the way. Also, I may be like “Yea right” because I don’t want to worship them for being clean. I find that addicts seem to worship people with long clean time, and I’m just not that dude. I’m not worshipping anything but Jesus. It’s a commendable act, but I’m not into all the praise and worship of someone’s clean time. It’s what you’re supposed to do anyway. That’s all I got. Thanks for letting me share.